Thankful Day

My mom's life ended a week ago - and mine is changed forever.  I would never have imagined the strength and comfort I got from my mother.  If there was one thing I could count on in this world, it was that she loved me unconditionally.....with expectations!  Not to be the best, but to be my best.  Not to be right, but to do right.  When I was at my worst, she loved me anyway.   She loved me for a lifetime - and I miss her.

When I was learning to drive and a bunny ran into my path, she was sure that thump I felt was just the bumpy road.  When I was learning to cook and my jello mold slithered onto the floor, she didn't really like jello anyway.  My mom is intertwined in my happiest and saddest memories, just where a mom should be.  She loved the holidays. I love seeing her handwriting - I hate not hearing her voice.   I miss not getting "the look"....but that sort of lives on...in me.  I miss her.

From MomUnscripted

This morning when I got up early to put the turkey in the oven, I wondered how my mom ever wrestled that thing in the wee hours while I slept in.  I know there will be nobody to pick every sliver of meat off the bones - like mom always did.  I will feel guilty. 

I'm thankful for my lifetime of memories and for a new appreciation of those I will continue to make with my children.  I'm thankful to be married to an incredible man - his deep love protects me, keeps me humble and makes me better.   I'm thankful for my 3 wonderful, smart, beautiful daughters- and pray I will always be the mother they deserve.  For my son, whose life inspires me, his focus amazing - I am blessed to be his mom.   My precious grandchildren - rays of sunshine that always make me smile.  The friends and family who love me and mine - I am grateful and love you back.

The world feels a little unfamiliar and my footing is unsure.   Shedding some of my "independence", letting my family love me through one day at a time, leaning into God's word to show me the way; I pray to be faithful, to honor Him and his precious, precious new angel, my momma. 

Peace and a Happy Thanksgiving

Love,
Kim

One Realm

I am standing upon the seashore. A ship at my side spreads her white sails to the morning breeze and starts for the blue ocean. She is an object of beauty and strength. I stand and watch her until at length she hangs like a speck of white cloud just where the sea and sky come to mingle with each other. Then someone at my side says: “There, she is gone!”

“Gone where?”

Gone from my sight. That is all. She is just as large in mast and hull and spar as she was when she left my side and she is just as able to bear the load of living freight to her destined port.

Her diminished size is in me, not in her. And just at the moment when someone at my side says: “There, she is gone!” There are other eyes watching her coming, and other voices ready to take up the glad shout: “Here she comes!”

And that is dying.

~Henry Van Dyke

Sparkle Captured!

Our youngest.  Beautiful, reflective, joyful, thoughtful....

Lexi

Serious...ly?

Playful...

Stunning!

Cute...

Radiant!

Silly!

We are truly blessed with Miss Lexi.  She's her daddy's girl, complete with his quiet, thoughtful, peacemaker nature.  Her mama's daughter - creative, organized and somewhat headstrong.  Her own unique character, a child of God, quiet courage and strong convictions.  You can see the whole photoshoot here:  Lexi 2010

These are just a few of Lexi's 2010 "school" pictures taken by Destiny Merkley @ DMerkleyPhotography.com.  Des is an incredibly innovative, professional photographer whose pictures are simply magic.  She prefers a comfortable, natural setting to capture the sparkle of your family.   From baby bumps to holiday photos....a downtown alley or grandpa's ranch....she's awesome! 

Quick Update

• Wonderful scrapbook retreat - got a lot done and can't wait to go again in January!
• My mom fell last Friday and we've had to help her make some changes.  She has always been very independent, so it is hard for her.  Not driving is a big one.
• E-Mealz is still going well - I cook 4-5 of the recipes, add a family favorite and do a night of left-overs.  I'm switching to the Aldi plan this next week.  Coupon clipping has just stressed me out for my whole grocery load.  I'm going to still clip coupons, but limit theuse to CVS and Dollar General to stock up on essentials.
• Biggest savings this week: $2.99 pumpkins @ Aldi.  Next year FREE @ Kim's garden!
• Lexi and Keith started karate this week, with Nicholas.
• Going to see the OKC Barons play Lake Erie Monsters tonight - hockey.

Karate Kid

Long, long day yesterday. Worked in the morning, errands after lunch, home to pack for the retreat.  I drug things out, but didn't get much accomplished.  5:30 we headed to karate to meet with Sensei for the upcoming new class (Keith and Lexi will be white belts) and for Nicholas to complete phase 2 of his double purple/brown belt promotion.  Last week he performed his kata, this week he completed a consecutive motion 6 board break (using his hand, foot, head...yikes) and sparred at the purple belt level.  He was awarded the purple belt last night and will continue this upcoming month to earn his brown.  All summer long he has doubled up on his classes, attended karate camp and my living room furniture has been rearranged to serve as a dojo.

Watching the son you've raised to be a thoughtful gentleman actually FIGHT is a little (ok a lot) overwhelming to me.  I kept telling myself that football players, soccer players, etc are all at risk to be injured, but I don't think that's what gets to me.  There are a multitude of reactions that just erupt - compassion, fear, pride, excitement, dread, anger, retaliation.  I am not so alarmed that he might get hurt, as a skateboarder we've cleaned up lots of blood, he's broken his arm on a trampoline.  Injury I can handle.  I think.  Somewhat, anyway.

There are lots of "reasons" I could come up with - but I think watching your little boy hold his own in an aggressive, man's sport - is just hard.  Gone are the days he might crawl in my lap and a hug would fix everything -  he fights & wrestles grown men, comes to me sweaty, worried his nose is broken...excited and ready to do it all again.  "Mom, did you see when I....?"  Mostly son, but I did have to close my eyes some.

I've got to figure out my job as his momma.  That means not crying, cheering even if there is blood and not personally kicking the butt of the guy picking on my kid. 

Love they end in prayer and encouragement - hope they include their mama's hearts.

Half Time

I would have followed Story's lead if I had any idea there would be no snoozin' during the second half!

Boomer Sooner!!

Our dogs are not happy unless their basket is dumped over and their toys scattered.

Hoarding Chair

One of the favorite snuggle places in our house is a chair we've had for ages, Lori had it a while, now we have it home again.  It is comfy for reading, tv watching or snoozing!  However, this chair has a history - it is a hoarding chair. 

If you can't find the remote to the TV, look in the folds of the chair.  Over the years, this chair has gotten greedier and sneakier.  We've had to pull the covering off the bottom to retrieve phones, jewelry, books.  It is a ready-made piggy bank, if you pick it up and shake it out will fall coins!

Today I moved the chair to vacuum and out rolled an orange.  A real orange.  Squished.

My mind raced to the last time I purchased oranges.  June? It didn't seem moldy.  Being home alone, I called Lori and she laughed...Kelsey had gotten an orange out of her bag earlier this week and she didn't know where it went.   I was relieved...but this chair can't develop an appetite for items that spoil!